Some days it seems as if the time is here, then low and behold Joshua has a lucid, alert day and we’re left trying to figure out where we’re at.
His body is slowly starting to shut down. His stomach has stopped digesting, so he can’t even keep water down now. He still converses with us, but often he’s very confused about what he thinks we’re talking about and his short term memory only has moments. He drops off to sleep at a moments notice and is sleeping the majority of the time now.
That all said, he’s still got his funny bone working in there. He asked us this morning what our plans for the weekend were, as he heard us talking about zip lining… he then declared he didn’t quite feel up to zip lining at the moment! (While it was a funny moment Tony and I ran with, the whole premise was an invention he thought he’d heard. We figure he must be having good dreams at least.)
Its a situation I never thought I’d be in – wanting to hold on to every moment, yet wishing the end was here so he can stop suffering.